Attachment & Codependency in Intimate Relationships

You have probably heard the buzz about "attachment trauma” but what does it mean?

In a nutshell, attachment theory has to do with how our very early relationships with primary caretakers affect our adult relationships today.

Sometimes attachment ruptures are obvious (i.e. adoption or divorced parents), and sometimes they are more subtle. However, the effects of insecure attachment can reverberate in ways that leave us feeling out of control and helpless when facing conflict in our relationships.

The following are some hallmark traits of people experiencing insecure attachment:

• Flooded with fear at the prospect of your partner leaving

• Afraid to say what you actually want and need out of fear of rejection

• A feeling of paralysis or panic when faced with conflict that shapes your behavior in the relationship

• Feeling too overwhelmed to engage with your partner despite them needing something from you

• Wanting to pull away from your partner because their needs feel too daunting for your to meet or even talk about

• Difficulty with boundaries, especially when you care about the person

If you are someone who has felt any of these things somewhat regularly, there is support for developing tools to feel more secure despite conflict.

I help people understand how they can identify with different elements of attachment styles, and provide tools for moving towards a more secure base in our relationships.